How I Ruined the Series Finale

Ted: Kids, there was once a television sitcom whose plots revolved around a group of friends.  These friends would often get together at their favorite hangout spot to discuss the wacky goings-on in their lives.  They even created their own catchphrases!  This sitcom was a great success, right up until the series finale.  That’s when everything went wrong.  And this sitcom was called…

Kids: How I Met Your Mother.

Ted: Nope, it was called Seinfeld.  And in the final episode, the writers decided to rehash everything that had happened during the series.  They even brought back guest stars to reprise their roles from years earlier.

But the most disappointing thing about the Seinfeld series finale was the fact that at the end of the episode, the characters were back where they started in the beginning.  Okay, not exactly as they ended up in jail at the end of series finale.  But they had the same conversation at the end of the finale that they had at the beginning of the series.  Which brings me to another sitcom about a group of friends who sat around their favorite hangout talking about the hijinks and problems in their lives…

Kids: How I Met Your Mother…right?

Ted: Nope, this sitcom was called Friends.  And throughout that series, one of the main plot points was whether or not Ross and Rachel would ever get together again, and this time for good.  Okay, they got together and then broke up, and then got together again (except for that one time when they were on a break), and then they got married in Vegas when they were drunk, and then they had a baby together only they really weren’t together at the time and…

Kids: DAD!

Ted: Right, where was I?  Oh yeah, at the end of Friends Ross and Rachel did get together.  But by that time, no one cared because they were tired of being jerked around by the writers.  The ‘relationship’ had been played out, and viewers were actually glad it was over.

Which leads me to another TV sitcom…

Kids: How I Met Your Mother?

Ted: That’s the one.

Kids: About time.  It seems like we’ve been on this couch forever!

Ted: So anyway, the series finale of How I Met Your Mother had a combination of the worst of both the Seinfeld finale and the Friends finale.  We did get to see a resolution of most of the loose ends of the series.  We got to see Barney finally meet the girl of his dreams, his daughter from one of his one-night stands.  We already knew that Lily and Marshall had 3 kids.  And we finally got to see how I met your mom.

And this is where the episode fell apart.  We got a few flashes of your mother and I over the years, including my second proposal just a year before she died.  We also got a brief glimpse of the two of us in a hospital when she got sick, and she apparently died a short time later.

And that’s it.  We spent 9 years waiting for this, and then it is gone in a matter of minutes.  The writers could have at least shown our wedding (okay, it’s How I Met Your Mother, not How I Married Your Mother), or spent more time on the discovery of her illness and fade into death.  The death of Marshall’s father was handled better than the death of the title character.  To tell you the truth, the last 20 minutes of the episode felt extremely rushed and incomplete.

And at the end, all I really wanted was your blessing for me to date Aunt Robin.

Kids (rolling their eyes): Okay, Dad, that’s enough.  You and Aunt Robin have tried this how many times?  And it never works.  So we’re putting our foot down.  This is just another rehash of Ross and Rachel, and people got tired of that by the end of that series.

Not to mention that it is hard to believe that in New York City, with its large population of single women, you would still be hanging on to Robin.  For God’s Sake, Dad, she’s menopausal!  Not to mention the fact that she has been a corporate mistress for the past 25 years.  She’s never going to be happy settling down with you, Dad!

There’s no way we are going to bless your going after her again!  What are you gonna do, go get that stupid blue French horn and give it to her?  Remember how that ended the first time?

Last night’s final episode was the Seinfeld finale all over again!

Ted (after a moment of thought): You’re right, kids.  Going after Robin again would just be another wild goose chase.

I would have preferred a finale that showed a bit more of my life with your mother, and not just a stale plot twist borrowed from sitcoms that aired last century.  Imagine, what if Robin got hired at CNN and moved to Atlanta, Barney had actually settled down and gotten married to the mother of his baby girl, and Lily and Marshall moved to Minnesota where Marshall is now the governor!  Now that would have been…wait for it…

Kids: Legendary!!!



Categories: Humor, Not Economics

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