Why I hate ‘nice’ people…and you should too.

There are two ways to explain why I hate ‘nice’ people.  The first way is to use something called Game Theory; the other way is through the use of basic economic theory.

I am going to simplify the Game Theory model down to one sentence: in Game Theory,  people are nice to you because they expect you to reciprocate (to be nice to them in return).  On the other hand, a person who is a jerk should expect to be treated like a jerk in return.A problem with this model is that in a ‘one shot game’ (i.e. a situation where a ‘nice’ person interacts with a jerk that they will never see again), a jerk can make themselves better off if you are nice but they are not nice.  In this situation, being nice will leave you worse off than the jerk.

Game theory is a bit more complicated than that, which is why I will move on to use basic economics to explain why you should hate nice people.  One of the core concepts in economics is scarcityScarcity is just the fact that resources are limited while human wants are unlimited.  People can’t have everything they want, and so they are forced to make choices between alternatives.

For example, let’s say you decide to drive to work.  Now, enter a ‘nice’ person.  You know, the person who stops to let everyone who is waiting cut in front of them in traffic.  They do this in the belief that others will let them cut in line or in traffic at some point in the future (call it ‘karma’ if you wish).  But what these ‘nice’ people actually are, are thieves.  ‘Nice’ people are stealing your time.

You see, time is the most scarce resource of all: you only get a finite amount of it, you can’t buy or create more of it for yourself, and you don’t know how much you have.  A moment spent waiting for the recipient of the ‘nice’ person is a moment you can never get back.  It is a part of your life that is wasted by the person who is only being ‘nice’.

So the next time you are in such a situation, feel free to flip the ‘nice’ person the bird or  to curse at them.  They are stealing your life, time that you can never get back, and they have no regrets about it.

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Categories: Bastards, Stupid People

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